This post is part of Living La Vida Bella, a space for women navigating midlife with beauty, wellness, and a whole lot of grace. Some links in this post may be affiliate links. If you purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products I personally use and love.
In so many ways, I left my soul back in 2022.
I admit it’s a pretty dramatic statement. As a freelance hairstylist and makeup artist, I was accustom to an insane schedule pre-pandemic. By 2022 (post pandemic), the industry came roaring back with a vengeance. Destination weddings picked up as international travel reopened. Production work was trying to make up for lost time. So when the work came, I said yes to everything. Early mornings. Late nights. Back-to-back weekends. It was a blessing and a curse. The income was flowing, but something inside me was draining just as fast.
By the end of that year, I had reached a physical and mental breaking point. I was running on fumes and calling it strength because that is what you do in hustle culture. I couldn’t lie to myself. My body was already trying to tell me something. It didn’t have the strength to push like I use to. I was on the verge of burn out.
When Life Didn’t Ask Permission: Navigating Caretaker Stress
Then my mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 colorectal cancer. A shock to the system does not begin to describe it. I turned to running as an outlet to cope with the weight of her diagnosis. It was a discipline I had grown to enjoy. It helped me tune into myself when everything else felt like chaos. But the reality of caretaking quickly consumed my world.
For the first five months of 2024, my mother was in and out of the hospital with significant complications. My siblings and I did our best to ensure someone was present with her at all times. I had support systems in place reminding me to take time for myself, but I was in survival mode. Between a demanding work schedule and the emotional toll of watching my mother fight for her life, sleep deprivation escalated. The stress was constant.
I don’t know how I got through that time other than by the grace of God.
Caretaking an ill parent while supporting my siblings was a delicate balancing act. Trying to ensure no one burned out wasn’t easy. Because I am the older sibling, divorced and with no children, I was called upon frequently. This wasn’t just the case with caretaking my mom, but also years prior with my grandparents.
I love my family deeply and would do anything for them. But if I can have a moment of vulnerability with you, it started to become a point of contention within me. The truth was, I was giving everything to everyone.
I needed to separate from my well-ingrained tendencies as a helper and allow myself the time to care for me. To protect me from myself. To make a change for the better.
Perimenopause Burnout: The Body Keeps Score
By May 2024, my mother was in a more stable condition and was receiving home health care at my sister’s house. I exhaled for the first time in months.
And then the night sweats started.
I went to my endocrinologist to get bloodwork done. To nobody’s surprise, I was deep in perimenopause. And my cortisol levels were through the roof. Given everything I had been through, anxiety was also at an all-time high.
I went into research mode. I wanted to understand what stress was actually doing to my body. Not just emotionally, but physically. Hormonally.
I read Rushing Woman’s Syndrome by Dr. Libby Weaver, and it educated me on the effects of living a rushed life and what chronic stress does to the body. It was eye opening. I invested in an Oura Ring to help me track my sleep and stress levels. I started paying attention to the data my own body was producing.
What I learned was this: my body had been keeping score the entire time. Every sleepless night, every early morning call time, every hospital visit, every moment I pushed through when I should have paused. It was all adding up. And perimenopause burnout was amplifying every bit of it.
For a long time, I blamed myself. I thought I just wasn’t handling stress well. But as it turns out, exhaustion, not heat, is the defining feature of early perimenopause for most of us. A massive 2026 global study published by The Menopause Society found that 83% of women in perimenopause report profound exhaustion and physical fatigue as their primary symptoms—ranking significantly higher than the classic hot flashes we’ve been taught to expect.
Let that sink in. If you are sitting there feeling bone-tired, you are not failing. Your body is navigating a massive biological shift.
Learning to Savor
Last July, during my vacation (more like a staycation), I made a decision. I was going to intentionally slow down. Not because everything in my life was resolved. But because I could not keep running on empty and calling it living.
I did things that brought me joy, like getting my hair done. Picking reading back up quickly became one of my favorite escapes. I worked on some creative projects. I even traveled to New York City for a day to catch an amazing Broadway show before it closed. That trip felt like a gift I gave myself.
Sometimes stopping is difficult for me. I had to give myself permission to rest. But with perimenopause in the mix, my body was simply asking me to ease into my days. I did not have the same stamina or tolerance for stress that I had before the pandemic. Something had fundamentally shifted. I had to honor the season of life I was in instead of fighting it.
That is when the word came to me. Savor.
According to the dictionary, savor means to give oneself to the enjoyment of. To savor the best in life.
Pausing allows me to get back to myself. Savoring allowed me time to play and dream. A simple reminder that I am important. It doesn’t have to be complicated. A quiet morning. A good book. A walk with no destination. A moment where peace is possible and accessible.
Overcoming Perimenopause Burnout
Perimenopause burnout is real. We are not meant to live in survival mode.
Maybe you are reading this after a long day. The kids are in bed. The house is finally quiet. And you still have a to-do list running in your head. Maybe your body has been trying to tell you something and you keep pushing through because that is what you have always done.
I want you to consider the possibility that this season of life, perimenopause, midlife, all of it, might be a blessing in disguise. Not because it is easy. But because it is asking you to do something you have never given yourself permission to do.
Slow down. Savor the pause. You do not have to earn the right to rest. You must intentionally choose it.
Find the moments where peace is possible. They don’t have to be grand. A quiet cup of coffee. A chapter of reading before bed. A deep breath between tasks. Start there.
A Note for the Caretakers
If you are in a season of caretaking, of giving yourself to everyone around you, please hear me: you cannot pour from an empty cup. This is a lesson I had to learn on a deep level while watching my mother navigate her own health battle. Her incredible resilience runs through me, but she taught me that true resilience does not mean we never stop. It means we know when to.
The most loving thing you can do for the people you care about is to care for yourself first. Not out of selfishness. Out of survival, wisdom, and most of all, love.
Savor the pause. You are worth it.
Interested in savoring the pause on a daily basis? Check out How Reading Became My Quiet Act of Self Care.
This post is part of Living La Vida Bella, a space for women navigating midlife with grace, honesty, and a little less hustle. I am not a medical professional. Everything I share is based on my own experience and research. Please consult with your healthcare provider before making any health related decisions.
If this resonated with you, I would love to hear from you. What does savoring the pause look like in your life? What is one thing you have done recently just for yourself? Leave a comment below or reach out through my Contact page. We are in this together.
